It took a while on Monday, but I eventually realized what I needed to do. While on my morning walk Monday morning I took the route to the East End Beach. It was low tide and I walked slowly along trying to spot the clear shapes almost hidden in the sparkle of the sand. As I knelt down to pick up my first piece, a rather stout dog trotted over to me and head butted me in my left hip. I didn't fall over but thought it was rather funny and it made me smile. Which was a nice change. It was also hard not to be hopeful in the kind of day where it was nearly 50 degrees at 8:00 in the morning. The sun made everything look brand new. And hopeful.
That same evening I did something I had been meaning to since the summer. I learned the Tango. And it was fabulous. Every other Monday at the North Star Cafe here in Portland, there are Tango lessons offered for $5 and then a live band plays. I danced with several partners and with each dance, it felt more and more natural... to be having such a simple and elegant conversation with a stranger that was solely based on the trust of movement and sinking together into the sound of the music. Completely Beautiful.
I am so thankful to myself that I got out of the house, away from my sadness and made myself try something new and kind of freightening. It was empowering, I plan on going back and learning more, and not only was it a fantastic start to my week, but really a new chapter for my life.